


why am i the only one who sees you’re-?

by exexlovers



Series: favourites of my own work! [3]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Act 1, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Mood Swings, Relationship Study, Tea, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exexlovers/pseuds/exexlovers
Summary: “Hey! No spaghetti sauce on the stove!” Marvin cheers, somewhat passive-aggressively.Whizzer smiles, leaning over the back of the couch. “Yeah. I’m learning.”Or submitting to manipulative tendencies.
Relationships: Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Series: favourites of my own work! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058351
Comments: 13
Kudos: 67





	why am i the only one who sees you’re-?

**Author's Note:**

> cw/tw: realistic representation of abusive relationships
> 
> this is based off my personal experiences. i really hope it’s well-received. i am incredibly proud of this piece.
> 
> okay, let’s go!
> 
> yours, kit

Have dinner ready for him. Greet him when he returns from work with a smile and a kiss. Don’t step out of line or provoke him. Let him use you like a stepping stone, or a pawn, or whatever else the bastard wants.

_ God,  _ Whizzer feels like a housewife in the 20s. And Marvin acts like he had signed up for this. 

Not for all the money in the world, for magnums of white wine, would he let himself be forced into a housewife role.

And yet.

It’s not enough that he cancels his own photography gigs - opportunities to make money - in order to be home on time. Not enough that he wakes up half an hour early to make sure Marvin gets hot coffee and warm bagels. Not enough that Whizzer acts like a maid; trailed behind Marvin and cleaned up any mess.

No, on top of all that, Marvin wants him to stay home on the weekends. Implying that he wanted Whizzer to be monogamous - like always. As if Whizzer was getting fuck all from monogamy.

  
  


So what if he spends his Friday nights slinging back vodka sodas and giving handjobs? Why should that be hurting anyone? Why is it his fault-?

“Whizzer?” Marvin calls from the living room.

“Yeah?” He releases his white-knuckle grip on the pan he was holding and flexed his fingers.

He used to do the dishes with his mom as a kid. His dad would go upstairs and do whatever abusive fathers did to distance themselves from their family and he and his mother would clean the kitchen. His mom once said, “Everything has a place, time and purpose. Even rusted old pots.”

Whizzer did not feel like he had any of those things. ‘Misplaced’ was a pretty good-looking word right now.

Both he and his mom seem to be trapping themselves in unhealthy, fear-precedent relationships. 

“What’s a four-letter synonym for fly?” Marvin continues, flipping through the pages of his crossword book.

“Mm… Soar.”

Synonyms for Marvin: stubborn, egotistical, angry,  _ toxic. _

“That fits. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Wow. _Thanks,_ or any of its variants, were rare words.

Whizzer washes his hands, shakes off the excess water, and sits on the opposite side of the couch than Marvin.

“Three more words to go.” Marvin mutters.

Whizzer makes himself comfortable, pulls the throw blanket over himself. “Nice.”

Sometimes things were good. Sometimes they would have rosé at dinner and Marvin would make him laugh so hard that he almost choked on his food, and Marvin would rinse off his plate and kiss the back of Whizzer’s neck and the sun would be setting in the distance-

Right now things were bad. Maybe the worst they’ve ever been. Whizzer was walking on eggshells, staying as far away from Marvin as he could in a studio apartment in Chinatown. Watching Marvin’s eyes, whether or not his hands were relaxed. Checking if Marvin’s body language was tense or not. 

Making sure his own body language was open and ready and available. 

Jesus. Just  _ being _ was exhausting.

“What’s the stock on leftovers?” Marvin glances over.

Whizzer balks. Marvin’s eyes were… warm? Less icy blue, more beach blue. A glimmer of hope bubbled in Whizzer’s chest.

“Hey?” Marvin prompts.

“Yeah, um. Like, a container and a half.”

He nods. “Cool. I’ll grab some for my lunch tomorrow.”

“Okay. Dinner was good, then?”

“Yeah, of course. You’re like a fucking gourmet chef, babe.”

Whizzer smiles. “Thanks.”

Maybe they’d made it to the tipping point. Maybe the waves were done crashing and they were finally breaking. Maybe Whizzer wouldn’t be drowning for now.

“Come here. Why are you so far away?” Marvin waves him over.

“Oh, I-I don’t know.” He scoots toward him.

“I don’t bite, do I?” Marvin opens his arm, an invitation for Whizzer to cuddle in.

A familiar position. Whizzer would lay his head on Marvin’s chest and listen to his heartbeat, his breath, the tick of his watch. The constant things.

Whizzer manages a laugh. “No. No, but-“ he cut himself off before he could say,  _ but sometimes you grab my wrist a little too tightly, or you raise your hand at me and I flinch. _

“...But what?”

“Nothing.” Whizzer leans against Marvin and sighs into the softness of his sweater.

Marvin clicks his tongue, and closes his book. “Okay.”

Marvin smells like woodsmoke and body wash. Whizzer closes his eyes, feeling Marvin’s hands slide into his hair.

He sighs again. Marvin works his fingers through a knot in his hair. 

“That feels nice.” Whizzer mumbles.

“Yeah?”

Whizzer nods carefully. “Yeah.”

A seedling of bitterness and anger settles in his throat. He was pissed at Marvin not even five minutes ago. Why are they suddenly fine again? No one had confessed their feelings or apologized. It wasn’t right.

Of course, Whizzer could be labelled as a homewrecker. The man who lured away a husband and father. The  _ man. _ So, who was he to talk about what was right?

“What was it like having maids as a kid?” he asks.

Marvin’s hand pauses for a moment. “Interesting question. Um, nice. I didn’t have to cook or clean. Could just do whatever I wanted.”

“Were you ever mean to them?” This was intentional. Trap Marvin. Give him a chance to admit mistakes. Take it from there.

“... I guess so. I was kind of an impatient bastard.”

“You say as if you’re not right now.”

He chuckles a little. “Yeah, I… fair enough. Once a lady told my parents that I had pushed her and made her fall on the floor. Not true, by the way. I accidentally shoulder-checked her.”

“Accidentally.” Whizzer repeats.

“Whizzer.” Marvin says his name like a warning.

“What?”

“ _ Accidentally.” _ He says again, firmer.

Whizzer swallows. “Okay.”

_ Shut up shut up shut up. Don’t you dare ruin it. _

Marvin’s hand migrates to his shoulder. Whizzer runs his fingers along the outer seam of Marvin’s jeans.

“Do you want tea?” Marvin offers.

Whizzer looks up. “Sure, yeah.”

Marvin never makes tea right. It’s either too sweet or too bitter, but Whizzer can’t risk saying that right now.  _ Eggshells. _

He squeezes Whizzer’s shoulder and pushes himself off the couch.

_ Please, to all higher powers,  _ Whizzer thinks.  _ Please let that kitchen be clean enough for him. Let me have tonight. _

Higher powers seem to be listening. 

“Hey! No spaghetti sauce on the stove!” Marvin cheers, somewhat passive-aggressively.

Whizzer smiles, leaning over the back of the couch. “Yeah. I’m learning.”

_ Or submitting to manipulative tendencies. _

“Sure looks like it. Peppermint or English Breakfast?”

“Peppermint. English Breakfast is more of a breakfast occasion… hence its name.”

Marvin slides the box out of the cupboard. “You’re the boss.”

Whizzer almost scoffs. No fucking way in hell he’s ever been ‘the boss.’

No way in hell he’ll ever be the boss. Not if Marvin keeps this whole ‘angry one moment, sweet the next’ thing.

Things used to be sweet more often. Whizzer wonders if they will ever be that way again.

**Author's Note:**

> title is from ring of keys from fun home! i paraphrased it to remove the adjective because the point of this piece is that whizzer can’t decide whether marvin is good for him or not. and he feels like trina never... accepted? noticed? marvin’s relationship tactics, nor did mendel. 
> 
> in short, he’s not sure what to make of marvin and he feels that he’s the only one who notes his manipulative and abusive tendencies.
> 
> thank you for reading!!!!!!!


End file.
